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Helpful Information

Exposure to Sexually Explicit Material

Many parents believe that their children have not seen inappropriate content online, but kids are saying something very different. The reality is that children as young as eight and nine years of age can easily come across sexual content on the internet – most notably graphic adult pornography. Although most (if not all) of this type of material is legal, it is far from harmless to children and teens who view it.

Children

Most often, children are accidentally exposed to explicit material on social media by incorrectly typing in a URL or words into a search engine, leading them to a site they did not intend to visit. Research suggests that early exposure to sexually graphic material is likely to have a negative influence and a potentially harmful impact on children.1

What does the research tell us?

In the past, people thought that because children didn't understand sexually graphic information, they weren't affected by it. Today, we know that while children do not have the emotional maturity, experience, or knowledge to understand sexual content, they may unconsciously store the experience in their brains and try to make sense of what they have seen. It can be quite stressful and children may find ways to act it out to try to make sense of it. Impact can vary depending on the child, the age of the child, the content viewed, and the circumstances around how it was viewed.

Exposure to sexually explicit material may:
  • Prematurely sexualize a child.
  • Incite a child to experiment with sexually explicit behaviour to make sense of it.
  • Lead a child to normalize and become desensitized to high-risk behaviour.
  • Shape a child’s expectations in relationships.
  • Shape a child’s expectations of physical appearances and certain sexual acts.
  • Blur boundaries and increase a child’s risk of victimization.
  • Increase a child’s health risks (i.e. sexually transmitted infections, sexual exploitation, etc.).
  • Increase a child’s risk of problematic sexual behaviour against other children to experiment.
  • Interfere with a child’s healthy sexual development.

There are signs you can watch out for that may indicate your child is experiencing distress from having viewed sexually explicit material online:

  • There are noticeable changes in your child’s typical behaviour patterns. They seem easily agitated, overly sensitive, and emotional.
  • Your child mentions the image they saw is interfering with their other thoughts. It seems to keep “popping” into their head.
  • Your child begins to experience difficulty sleeping.
  • Your child is spending more or less time online than usual.

If you notice changes in your child’s behaviour:

  • Let your child know that you notice they seem out of sorts. Ask if everything is okay, or if you can help in any way.
  • Be emotionally available and willing to listen to your child. When a child goes through a stressful experience, it is helpful for them to just have someone who cares about them to talk to without fear of judgment.
  • If your child does not want to talk, let them know you are available if they need you.
  • If changes in behaviour persist, consult with your family doctor.

We cannot keep children shielded within a bubble, nor would we want to. What is important is to strike a balance between empowering children and protecting them. Here are some suggestions:

  • Set limits on your child’s use of devices and what they are allowed to watch (e.g. internet, television, and video games).
  • Supervise your child when they are online.
  • Set up parental controls and use filtering software.
  • For younger children, use child safe visual search engines and apps.

Youth

It’s normal for youth to be sexually curious, and in fact, to seek out explicit material. Yet, youth who are seeking information about sexuality and relationships do not have the experience or knowledge to compare to some of the graphic material they come across. The result is that the material can end up being a teaching tool influencing their development of attitudes and beliefs about relationships, sex, or sexuality.

  • Pornography is not reality. It creates confusing expectations, attitudes, and beliefs about what to expect in a healthy sexual interaction.
  • Pornography makes sexual violence seem okay, that being aggressive will get you what you want, and that “no” means “yes.”
  • Pornography reinforces gender stereotypes, such as guys call all the shots and girls are meant to be used for a sexual purpose.
  • It portrays people as objects; a thing to be used and not to be treated as a person.

Parental guidance is critical to influencing beliefs and shaping values around developing healthy and fulfilling relationships, so when talking about pornography it’s important to:

  • Talk openly about the hidden negative messages in media, music, fashion, and advertising (e.g. glorification of violence, sexual harm, power and control, gender stereotypes).
  • Provide a standard of measure for healthy relationships and healthy sexuality that your child can compare to when trying to make sense of media messages.
  • Discuss with your child:
    • The different types of relationships (e.g. acquaintance, intimate, sexual, etc.)
    • The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships
    • The difference between respecting and breaking personal boundaries
    • The rights and responsibilities associated with sexual behaviour
    • The health risks associated with sexual activity
    • The importance of self-worth and dignity

Helping your child after exposure to pornography

The internet is largely unregulated, and most children will come across adult or explicit content at some point — often by accident. This guide is designed to help parents respond calmly and supportively if that happens. It offers practical steps, conversation starters, and reassurance to help you support your child in understanding what they’ve seen, while promoting safety, respect, and healthy views of relationships.

  1. Stay calm and supportive

    It is understandable to feel upset or worried. Keep in mind that your child needs reassurance and a calm, supportive response. Take a breath and notice how you’re feeling before responding.

    • Avoid yelling, blaming, or shaming.
    • Notice your child’s emotions — they may feel scared, embarrassed, or confused.
    • Remember that some children laugh when they feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. It doesn’t mean they think it’s funny — it’s often a sign of nervousness.
    • Stay calm and curious to help keep communication open.

    Remember: The internet is largely unregulated, and children may unintentionally see explicit material. Your calm response helps them feel safe.

  2. Choose the right moment to have a conversation

    Choose a relaxed, low-pressure time — such as during a car ride, a walk, or while playing together.

    You might say: “I heard (or noticed) you saw some pictures or videos of people without clothes on. That is called pornography. Have you heard that word before? You’re not in trouble. I want to help you understand and talk about what you saw.”

    Invite your child to share: “Can you tell me what happened? How did it make you feel?”

    Remember: Your child needs to know that you understand how this can happen, it’s not their fault, and you’re there to help them process it.

  3. Explain what pornography is in age-appropriate terms

    Keep explanations simple and matter-of-fact.

    You might say: “Pornography shows people’s private parts, but it’s not real life. The people are acting like in movies. It doesn’t show love, respect, or care – which are important in real healthy relationships. In real life, people who care about each other treat one another kindly and respectfully. They check in with each other to make sure everyone feels comfortable.”

    Remember: The goal is not to scare or shame your child, but to teach them that pornography is unrealistic and unhealthy — it does not reflect caring, consensual, and respectful relationships.

  4. Normalize curiosity

    Curiosity about bodies and relationships is natural.

    You might say: “It’s completely okay to be curious about bodies and relationships. You can always ask me, and I will find healthy and safe ways for you to learn.”

    Remember: Encourage open, ongoing communication. Reassure them that no question is bad or weird.

  5. Teach online safety

    Help your child learn what to do if they see inappropriate content again.

    You might say: “If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable or confused, just close it or turn it off and come tell me (or another safe adult). You won’t get in trouble — we’ll handle it together.”

    Consider:

    • Using parental controls and safe search tools.
    • Keeping devices in shared spaces.
    • Regularly reviewing apps, websites, and games together.
    • Unplugging at night — set a family rule that devices are turned off or left in a shared area before bedtime. This helps protect sleep, limits late-night exposure, and encourages healthy tech habits.

    Remember: Creating healthy routines around device use – including unplugging at night – helps children feel safe, supported, and balanced online.Top of Form

  6. Teach respect, consent, and safe boundaries

    Reinforce respect, consent, and safe boundaries in relationships by talking about:

    • What healthy relationships may feel, look, and sound like (being loving, caring, respectful, etc.) in comparison to unhealthy relationships (red flag behaviours, like pressuring someone, aggressiveness, etc.).
    • The right to bodily autonomy. Let your child know they have the right to make decisions about what happens to their bodies.
    • The difference between care, consent, and coercion. Explain to your child that care means showing respect and checking in; consent is a legal agreement that is clear and voluntary; and coercion is a tactic that involves pressure, manipulation, and sometimes fear.

    You might say: Your body belongs to you. No one should ask to see your private parts or show you theirs — online or offline.

    Remember: The internet is a public space, and children may see explicit content they shouldn’t be exposed to. Remind your child that people who care about them respect their limits, and explicit content online is not a teaching tool. Not everything they see online is a true representation of real life.

  7. Keep the conversation going

    Make this an ongoing dialogue and not a one-time talk. Use what if scenarios to help your child practice making safe choices in real life situations.

    Remember: Frequent, open conversations help children develop clear standards for safe and healthy relationships.

  8. Seek professional support when needed

    Consider professional help if your child:

    • Shows distress, anxiety, or withdrawal.
    • Has trouble sleeping or recurring worries.
    • Displays new or concerning sexualized behaviour.

    Remember: Mental health professionals can help your child process their experience and learn healthy coping skills.

This information is also available as a downloadable document below:

Talking to your child about pornography: Things to consider

1 Wright, P. J., Paul, B., & Herbenick, D. (2021). Preliminary insights from a U.S. probability sample on adolescents’ pornography exposure, media psychology, and sexual aggression. Journal of Health Communication, 26(1), 39–46. https://doi.org/10.1080/10810730.2021.1887980 ↩

The tips and other information provided herein is intended as general information only, not as advice. Readers should assess all information in light of their own circumstances, the age and maturity level of the child they wish to protect and any other relevant factors.

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